So you’re going to a wedding. It may be your best friend’s, a family member’s, or even your own. Weddings are very special days, not only for the bride and groom, but for many of those involved as well. However, there is etiquette that should be followed for weddings depending on what role you may be playing in the big day.
Source: Pauleen Vacca, The Clarion Ledger
Brides and grooms
First off, congratulations! You are about to embark on quite the planning journey that will end in the best day of your life. Make sure to follow wedding etiquette before, during and after your wedding to make it everything you dreamed.
BJ Swafford of Kosciusko, wedding consultant and author of “What To Do ’Til ‘I Do,’” says etiquette needs to be followed. It’s not always easy, though.
“Because traditions are not being passed down,” she said, “the brides don’t know.”
– Keep an eye on style. “The bridal train determines the formality,” Swafford said. “I have seen brides who have formal trains, semiformal weddings and informal invitations, bless their hearts.”
– Make sure you count your vendors as far as catering goes. It is polite to feed the DJ, photographer, wedding planner, etc. if they will be with you throughout the night. It may even be in their contract.
– Do not invite friends and family to your bridal shower unless they are also going to be invited to your wedding.
– You can plan a bridal luncheon and a bachelor’s dinner. This event is a great kickoff if your sides don’t know one another.
– Make sure you and your significant other discuss how you want to thank your bridal party. They are going to be giving a lot of time and money for your day, and their presence is important as well. Make sure they know how thankful you both are. This is traditionally a gift, but can be tailored to your style as a couple.
– Remember to send thank-you notes for gifts. Swafford recommends stationery that bears the name of the sender.
Parents
Make sure you follow etiquette and listen to the requests of both the bride and bridegroom.
– Reach out to your soon-to-be in-laws once the engagement is announced. It is nice to have a relationship, especially since you will all be involved in the wedding planning process.
– Traditionally, the bride’s parents host the engagement party and the bridegroom’s parents host the rehearsal dinner. However, you may want to talk to your daughter or son about what they expect your roles in the planning process to be.
– If you are planning to contribute to the wedding monetarily, be upfront and honest about what you can give.
Wedding party
How fun that you were asked to be in the wedding party!
This is quite a journey, as you will be there for the parties and rehearsals that precede the wedding, as well as have a huge part in their big day.
– If you are the maid of honor, generally you plan a bachelorette party and bridal shower, along with the bridesmaids. You can also lend a hand with the engagement party if the family asks your assistance.
– If you are the best man, generally you plan a bachelor party along with the groomsmen.
– Make it a priority to attend all of the parties, showers and dinners leading up to the wedding.
– Be on time, supportive and patient during the wedding. Make sure you are there for the bride, as she will likely be stressed and nervous, but you want to make sure she enjoys her wedding day, so try to solve problems you can without getting her involved, and help answer guests questions when possible.
Family and friends
You get to witness someone important to you celebrate one of the most special days of their lives! However, there is etiquette for guests as well that should be followed.
– RSVP on time.
– Make arrangements on time for hotel accommodations, should you be traveling from out of town. Most invites or wedding websites will provide options, but it is your responsibility to reserve a hotel room. Be sure to also be aware of check-in times and the ceremony start time. The two can often run very close to one another so you may need to plan accordingly as far as getting ready for the event, or stay the evening before.
– Be on time to the wedding ceremony and reception if they are in two different locations. You are a big part of the couple’s special day, so it means a lot to them that you are there.